The Activity Club and the Final Hole
The Activity Club and the Final Hole is a Paranatural short story written by Zack Morrison. Zack wrote the short story via voice-to-text in order to provide their readers with content following after their wrist condition prevented them from finishing a new page on time. It was released on the website on February 12, 2019. On June 4, 2019, Zack announced via Twitter that they were in the process of making an illustrated version of the story that would be put up for sale in the near future. On June 21, 2019, the initial written version was taken down from the website and the illustrated version was released on Gumroad alongside an . Transcript Written Version THE ACTIVITY CLUB and the FINAL HOLE (A Paranatural Prose Adventure Written With Voice-To-Text, For You To Read While I Finish Recovering From Wrist Strain) It was a moonless summer night in Mayview, the kind of warm and haunted night that makes you feel nocturnal just by breathing it, where the air is charged with mischief and each streetlight feels like something hungry's dangling lure. In this night, enveloped in it, bugs were humming, bats were swooping overhead, and the Paranatural Activity Club was on their second to last hole of miniature golf. "This is the worst ever," said Max, leaning on his club for physical and emotional support. His latest putt had sent the ball careening off a clown's eyelash into the moat below. "You're only saying that," said Isabel, who generally lived life under par, "because of how terribly you're losing." "l don't think—I mean, it's really not THAT bad," said Isaac, who'd watched a niche sports anime about mini golf recently and was struggling to contain his excitement (he couldn't let on that he enjoyed things in case someone could somehow use that data to extrapolate all of the embarrassing secrets he didn't have). "Mini golf, that is. It's passable." Ed said nothing, because he had ditched them to ride go-karts. "l don't mean the sport. OBVIOUSLY there is potential here." Max gestured at a plastic skeleton by the entrance holding a sign that said GOLFERS BEWARE, as if that were clear evidence of the fact. "l mean this whole situation." Small Business Benson's Gas Station & Human Joy Emporium was an oasis of fluorescent light on the dark forest outskirts of Mayview, which, through clever marketing and standard tax evasion, had become a popular and profitable hotspot for teen activity. From its humble beginnings as an illegal unlicensed White Castle, S.B. Benson's had gone on to spawn a mini golf course, an arcade, a go-kart race track, a semi-functional bowling alley and a complicated network of crime syndicates... but, unlike the rest of the adolescents milling about, Max and the others weren't here to have fun with any of those. They were on a mission, one that their supernatural mentor, Mr. Spender, had sprung upon them unexpectedly. "There is a powerful spirit," he'd said, "that dwells within the final hole." Max had lead a chorus of groans in the back seat of Spender's car. The club had had a stressful week, full of tough fights and tougher interpersonal drama, and had been expecting this outing to be a brief reprieve. Mr. Spender went on, beaming obliviously. "You'll need to harness its power in the battles ahead... but it won't appear unless you play a full course of mini golf together. It's shy in that way." Mr. Spender probably winked at this point, but they couldn't be sure, since he was wearing sunglasses and since none of them were looking at him anymore. The kids had been reluctant to indulge him at first, but early on, in a very dark and very plastic golf cave, Mr. Spender had disappeared, apparently kidnapped by the spirit of the final hole. Undoubtedly, their prize for completing the course was his life (that was generally how this kind of thing went), and since Mr. Spender was their ride home, they played on. "l swear to golf," grumbled Max, rolling up his sleeves to go fishing for his ball, "if the spirit of the final hole is friendship I'm going to put this club through Spender's windshield." Max had been having a rough night. Not only had he earned the nickname "Bogeyman" from the jeering high school sophomores who'd lapped them around the course twice already, his many wayward drives into the moat had also sparked a feud with the resident mosquito population (which was considerable, given the Emporium's abundant teen blood, bright lights, and standing water). "Mind over matter!" Isaac had said, trying to be helpful. "If you don't think about the bites, they don't itch." He hadn't yet been bitten once because his powers gave him a slight electrical charge, making him a human bug zapper. "Mini golf works the same way. Think of the club as an extension of—" "WELL WHICH IS IT?" Max had demanded, sending his ball sailing off into the darkness with a full-powered swing. "DO I THINK OR DON'T I??" "You're overthinking it," Isabel had said, and Max had screamed. It was another fifteen minutes before Max could retrieve his ball from the moat and complete the penultimate hole (he scored a 100, the highest he'd ever scored on anything), and then about a minute for his friends to follow suit. Isaac made par; Isabel successfully executed the off-theorized-but-never-before-seen Hole In None. Max turned his frustration on the mosquitoes, swiping at them ineffectually with his golf club. "All right, I'm done trailblazing! Next hole, YOU guys go first, and I'LL learn from YOUR failures." Isaac and Isabel gave each other a look of concern. Though neither would readily admit it, the two of them were Max's biggest cheerleaders in the Activity Club and were always looking out for him. Neither of them wanted to see him struggle like this. The pair exchanged subtle nods. No words passed between them, but they both knew that they'd reached an understanding: the final hole would be different. The path before them was a long one, twisting up a castle tower and onto the ramparts above. No one spoke the whole way. Isaac, who'd been dual wielding with his own golf club and Ed's abandoned one (as a joke, he said, but actually because it was the gimmick of his favorite character from Mini Driver Matsuo), was dragging both clubs behind him against the walls around the stairs, imagining cool sparks coming out. He racked his brain, trying to figure out how to make Max see how Epic mini golf could be without expressing any passion for it himself. He'd settle for him making par just once. Isabel looked to be reading a text from Ed ("You won't BELIEVE who died in this ball pit!"), but in truth she, too, was lost in thought. At this point, she was going to win, no matter what. All that was left to be determined was how she'd FEEL about winning. Isabel knew Max wouldn't begrudge her getting first place, would congratulate her and mean it, would stop complaining so that she could enjoy her victory. But she knew that it would taste sweeter if Max could get a win of his own. That way, she could REALLY rub it in his face, without feeling guilty in the slightest. Max stomped along behind them, swatting away mosquitoes. Having reached the top of the castle, they turned a comer through a grand doorway guarded by no less than like a dozen skeletons holding GOLFERS BEWARE signs. The final hole was upon them. A straight road of green felt flooring stretched out across the castle wall, in cruel mockery of grass. Some twenty feet away, the final hazard they had to face awaited them, looming overhead. It was... a windmill. "Kind of an unimaginative climax," muttered Max. Then, after a beat, "...Does this place even have a theme?" Isabel looked over the wall at the pirate ship down by the eleventh hole. "l think it's mini golf themed?" she said, and shrugged. Max let out a deep sigh. "Let's just get this over with." Isaac went first. His first stroke bounced off the windmill's slowly spinning blades, but the next got through, and in two more he'd made it in the hole. "A bogey," Isaac said, walking back towards Max and Isabel and idly spinning one golf club like a cool guy at a ren faire. "Not bad for the final hole." He sidled up along Max and leaned against the castle wall. "Heh... this 'mini golf' is pretty kind of fun." Isaac tried to look up at the stars but got an eyeful of fluorescent light instead. "Perhaps I'll give it another go... some day," he said, squinting. Max just blinked at him. Isabel was up next 'Watch and learn," she said, lining up her shot. She took her time, running through the motion of swinging over and over, longer than she'd done for any other hole. If anyone DID want to watch and learn from her, she'd definitely given them plenty of time to do it. Isaac smiled. Isabel struck the ball, a swift, short stroke. It shot forward, straight as an arrow, slipped through the windmill's blades, rolled right up to the hole... and stopped. "DANG IT!" Isabel exclaimed, slapping the ground with her club "Oof, you hate to see that. Better luck next hole," said Max. "Oh wait!" He grinned like a fool. Isabel punched him in the shoulder. "There, now you're a sore loser before I've even finished beating you," she said with a scowl, but cracked a smile once she had her back to him. While marching down the green to finish out her birdie, Isabel dragged her golf club heavily behind her, leaving a trail in the felt. She tapped the ball into the hole and turned to stick her tongue out at Max. It was his turn to face the final hole. Once Isabel had gotten out of the way, Max set his ball down and took a few practice swings, doing his best to imitate the stroke that was a near success for Isabel. The others were quiet, holding their breath. The chatter of the teens below, the distant rumble of go-karts, the hum of bugs and fluorescent lights... they melded together, forming a drone that seemed to rise in volume with the tension in the air. A bead of sweat dripped down from Max's forehead. Finally, he broke the deafening silence. "Do you ever think about how there's mini golf but not mini versions of other sports?" Isabel smiled. He always talked too much when he was nervous. "No Max," she replied. "I'm not broken in that way." "l feel like if miracles were real someone would have made sure that we had tiny baseball with pirates and dragons by now," Max said, doing one more practice swing. "Little league?" asked Isaac, trying to be helpful. Max scoffed. "Don't get cute with me, Isaac." Poor Isaac sputtered out his reply, getting redder with each stumbled word. "l wasn't— it takes one to know— You're the one who— I— You— YOU'RE cute with ME!" His cheeks went supernova. Isabel's guffaw echoed out across the whole golf course. "Fine, little league. Miracles are real then, let's gO!!" yelled Max, hitting the ball with his best imitation of Isabel's stroke. It flew straight ahead, following the path her club had left in the felt. Isaac snapped back to attention. The ball zipped forward, on track to reach the final hole. but the windmill's blades were coming in fast. All three kids inhaled sharply. It wasn't going to make it! Then, suddenly, the night breeze picked up, caught the windmill's blades, and spun them faster, letting the ball through by a hair. Isabel stifled a gasp, saving it for whatever was about to happen in the next few slivers of a second. The ball slowed, rolled to a stop at the edge of the final hole, hung there precariously for a few moments, and fell in. "YEAH!!" The Activity Club leapt into the air and collapsed back down into a chaotic embrace. Crosstalk congratulations and expressions of disbelief soon gave way to laughter. "That means I win, right? Like a golden snitch situation," said Max, smiling. Isabel punched him on the shoulder, but very lightly this time. His smile unfurled further into a grin. "Just kidding," he said. "Good game, Isabel. Isaac." Max slapped them both on the back and took off down the green to fetch his ball. "BRB!" After a moment, Isabel and Isaac turned and gave each other a sly look. "Nice weather tonight, huh, Isaac? REAL breezy," said Isabel, smirking. "We both know you could have gotten that hole in one," Isaac replied, returning the expression. "You just wanted an excuse to leave a slug trail Max could follow." Isabel reared back, feigning indignation. 'Well I never! You must think very lowly of him, if you think he needs directions to follow a straight line!" They stared at each other for a beat, then broke out laughing again. Isabel leaned in closer, and said in a whisper "You didn't steer the BALL too, did you?? I think he'll probably cry if he finds out. OK no don't tell me I don't want to know." At the other end of the castle wall, Max knelt down to retrieve his ball, a smile on his face. "Thanks, guys," he said under his breath, looking back at his friends. In all the hubbub of his repeated failures, he'd forgotten the most important thing of all... That Mr. Spender had been kidnapped by a powerful spirit that was supposed to appear after they completed a full round of mini golf. CLAP! Max started, remembering all at once why they were there. CLAP! He yanked his hand out of the final hole, as if it was about to bite his fingers off. For all he knew, it might've been! CLAP! Max scrambled backwards on all fours across the green, back to his friends, who had both raised their golf clubs like weapons. CLAP! Mr. Spender stepped out from behind the windmill, where he'd been playing Scrabble on his phone for the last hour. "Well done, children," he said, clapping slowly. "Mission complete. Now you've obtained the power of the most powerful spirit of all... team spirit." Brandishing their golf clubs and shouting obscenities, all three Activity Club members charged their teacher... as a team. THE END Characters * Max Puckett * Isabel Guerra * Isaac O'Connor * Mr. Spender * Ed Burger (mentioned) Trivia * According to Zack on their Twitter account: ** The written version of the story is a Google Docs screenshot. A very faint, grey line from the program's UI can be seen just above the story's title.[https://twitter.com/paranaturalzack/status/1095395447642808321 "you can see the faint gray line from where i screenshotted the top of the google doc i forgot to crop out... that's authenticity. this is Raw Content."] Zack Morrison @paranaturalzack (12 Feb 2019). ** Unlike their other bonus content and update filler pages, Zack kept the golf story up in the comic's archives after the next page was uploaded. They stated that they planned on taking it down once they could "reupload it elsewhere in a different format"[https://twitter.com/paranaturalzack/status/1096212709412986880 "i think i will keep the golf story up where it is in the archives for a bit, even though it interrupts the chapter, and then take it down when i can reupload it elsewhere in a different format. got some plans!"] Zack Morrison @paranaturalzack (14 Feb 2019)., and later did so upon the official announcement of the illustrated version. * As revealed in the short story: ** Isaac is a fan of an anime entitled Mini Driver Matsuo. ** Max talks too much when he's nervous. ** Mr. Spender plays Scrabble on his phone. Gallery Golfsquad.png|A sketch of the story from Zack's Twitter. FillerPages_2019Feb12.png|The original written version of the story. The_Activity_Club_and_the_Final_Hole_Promo_01.jpg|A preview of the illustrated version from Zack's Twitter. The_Activity_Club_and_the_Final_Hole_Promo_02.png|Another preview of the illustrated version from Zack's Twitter. External Links * Archive of the written version on the website * Archive of the illustrated version announcement on the website References Category:Meta Category:Webcomic